Geeks and Swords
Geeks and Swords

A few of us were hanging around at coffee after a game one time, and the subject of geeks and weaponry came up. Geeks seem to be great aficionados of all manner of sharp things – from replica swords, to fancy daggers, to the bat’leth and katana my two friends posed with in their wedding photos – there’s few geek households without at least a few stabby implements lying around.

Then, as we were comparing our household stores of medieval weaponry, someone posed the all important question – If zombies attacked while you were sleeping, what would you have lying around next to your bed with which to defend yourself?

I, at the time, had a few blunt practice swords. One guy had a katana within reach of his bed. But the guy who won? He had no less than six daggers, a two-handed sword, and a bat’leth hanging nearby. The image of a guy fighting off zombies with a bat’leth has since forever been burned into my mind, and I now share this mental image with you. Enjoy.

News: Posted December 1st, 2008 by Alina

^ 65 Comments to “Geeks and Swords”

  1. FuzzyDuck Says:

    Safe or not here in Britain? Take a look at some of the slack-jawed imbecile chavs hanging around pretty much every town centre & how fast they’re spawning more of the same.. i’d say the zombie invasion is already begun!

    Posted December 4th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
  2. Corvid Says:

    Within reach of my bed: hunting knife, several types of razor/crafting knives, recurve bow.
    In bedroom, but I’d have to get out of bed for: compound bow, shotgun, rifle, competition foils (yeah, no blade/plastic point. Usefu) several more knives, and, when its really cold out, a Harris Hawk.

    Posted December 4th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
  3. Rune Says:

    Actually there is another Demographic that collects weapons (and for sure knows how to use them), a group called the SCA. Society of Creative Anachronism… medieval reinactors.
    ALOT of us are geeks as well, but not all of us. :)

    Posted December 4th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
  4. JohnGalt Says:

    @Horak
    What is easier to defend?
    1) 1 Zombie in my bedroom
    2) 2 zombies in my bedroom

    Answer #2 if my bedroom is 3x as large as in #1. You failed to take into account the population density of Britian. Itis 10x as high as the US.

    Posted December 5th, 2008 at 7:44 am
  5. Obvioustarget Says:

    hmm wasn’t this about survival of the geekiest, not about which country would be better off?

    Posted December 5th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
  6. Horak Says:

    @Johngalt On average, your rooms are larger. however i doubt the clountless illegall Imagrants in britain, and The countless zombie-chavs have anything in the way of weapons, and barely any are geeks, so cutting them out of the equation (As barely any of them have nice houses/bedrooms) I would say our rooms are the same sise, if not larger. On top of this we are Traditionaly better fighters, Or at least we were dating back to the medievial times witch us geeks attempt to replicate. one more think – what is more usefull against a zombie, a bullet (Which will go straight through – you americans have more of those) Or a sword that will disembowl them, either killing them or stunting thier movement speed, alowing a hasty retreat.
    Rule britannia!

    Posted December 6th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
  7. JohnGalt Says:

    Firearms>medievial weapondry

    Posted December 6th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
  8. Horak Says:

    Vs Zombies, Medievial Weaponry > Firearms. What do you expect a pistol to do to a zombie? Give it a hole? Cutting a zombie in half with a Claymore will do so much more than inconveniencing him/her with a slight hole in the left arm. Besides, Firearms require ammo, something I’m afraid is hard to come by in quantities large enough to desimate the zombie hordes that will arrive. Unless you hole yourselves into a shop that sells ammunition. But you will still run out. Meanwhile a swift and strong swing with a keen sabre will cut down at least two zombies packed together, possibly even ten (In cramped conditions.

    Take Boudica for example. At her last battle she outnumbered the Romans Ten to one, yet With tactics the Romans unfortunately beat her Horde. Agincourt, Tactics (And sharpened stakes) Allowed the English to destroy the french suprerior knights, who also outnumbered them. However at Rorkes drift the Thousands of Zulu warriors were defeated by a handfull of British – armed with rifles that may be, but primitive rifles, which took so long to reload it was hand to hand fighting before long.
    Melee weapons > Firearms. (Against Zombies)

    Posted December 7th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
  9. Marie Says:

    For once (historically, I mean), France is with Britannia : medieval weaponry is far better than guns against zombies.
    They say you must aim the head to kill zombies… hum. I guess if you REMOVE the head, that’s perfectly ok, isn’t it ? And you have no chance to miss. ^^

    Posted December 8th, 2008 at 6:29 am
  10. Candle Says:

    Replicas of Narsil and Aragorn’s sword wielded before receving Anduril in the movies. I guess they won’t last too long, being replicas, but hopefully they’ll do some damage before breaking. Just direct me to the zombie wearing the one ring that empowers the horde.

    Posted December 9th, 2008 at 12:09 am
  11. Randy Campbell Says:

    Chineselegolas wrote:
    >I reckon I’m in a better place to survive. New Zealand. We only
    >have bit over 4 million people and lots of country side.
    >And Auckland has about one boat per every fifteen people IIRC
    >so a number of us could just go a few k’s off shore and wait it out.
    >Though we haven’t really had to test anything out, even in theory.
    >Global disaster films always leave us strangely untouched.

    There is always one; case in point= SciFi Channel “shotgun” film, (“shotgun” out a bunch and hope you get an at least satisfactory movie from all the Cr*p :o) “Solar Attack”
    Basicly: The sun starts shooting out “super-flares” which along with a super high concentration of methane in the upper atmosphere ignites and starts to burn all the oxygen. “Luckily” the lead honcho who tried to warn everyone this could happen has an ‘in’ with a Russian sub captain and convinces him to fire all his missiles at the Arctic Ice cap vaporizing it and throwing massive amounts of (we won’t mention radioactive) water vapor that puts out the fire. Humanity saved! (Insert cheers, applause,and other ‘happy’ sounds here)

    Point? NZ gets a direct hit with one of the “super-flares” that the experts say will be stopped by the “ozone-layer”. Instead the fireball hits the middle of the country with a wall of fire racing in opposite directions, incinerating everything and everyone.

    Must have been a ‘demographic’ thing with someone noting NZ’s lack of getting hammered in disaster movies, and they decided to start fixing that issue :o)

    Randy

    Posted December 10th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
  12. Randy Campbell Says:

    “Zombies can only be stopped by shooting them in the head”
    “Vampires can only be killed by driving a stake through their heart”

    What if its all undead propaganda designed to deceive us humans?

    Medival vs modern weapons? Not really and argument, (but if true geeks couldn’t ‘argue’ obtuse issues we wouldn’t be geeks now would we? :o) survival means you use what you have.

    In my case I have a lot of “air-soft” and “nerf” weapons that won’t do me any good, though 100,000 hard plastic bb’s on concrete sidewalks or wooden floors would be fun to watch ‘dexterity-impaired’ undead deal with while running away.

    Being ‘geeks’ of course we’re overlooking such useful items as our dice bags, d4s wouldn’t be as effective ‘caltrops’ as say d10s and d20s, but I am also overlooking the fact that we’d most assuredly hang onto our dice as you never know when the rest of the survivors you’ll run into eventually might want to throw together a pick-up game of 3rd edition or even “All-Flesh-Must-Be-Eaten”. :o)

    The real ‘question’ in weapons choices are more about ranged or melee, do you want to get in close and get covered with possibly contaminated undead bodily fluids or stay clean and away with a ranged weapon? My personal arsenel of “real-steel” melee weapons currently consists of a couple of long-swords, a cutlass, a Naginata, and some daggers. None of which is within ‘easy’ reach since I still have them packed in my storage room awaiting “wall-space” to put them on. I am still trying to find a really good crossbow, my ‘dream’ weapon having gone away when the weapons maker I knew in Arkansas passed away more a little over 20 years ago. (::::sigh:::: Hand made 2-trigger hunting bow, @60lb pull but so nicely balanced my wife could even fork it with no help and so accurate I and she had no problems hitting the ‘bulls-eye’ of a standard archery target at 50 yards. He had made replica’s for a nearby restraunt of historical crossbows, they kindly directed us to his shop just down the road, where we both vowed to own one of his masterworks as soon as we were settled at our new home. Damned if he didn’t pass within a few weeks…..)

    Back to the point, (there was one? :o) when talking staving off the “zombie” hordes or the alien invasion or whatever, geek-dom can be both a blessing or a curse. We all “know” how to deal with these events but what do we REALLY know unless we know the specifics? The real power of ‘geek-dom’ is our interconectivity and ability to share knowledge and make those ‘unconventional’ leaps of thinking that often lead to answers in times of need.

    For the most part you’re also pretty sure the folks you ‘geek’ with are going to cover YOUR back just like they know you will cover theirs when the time comes…

    Randy

    Posted December 10th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
  13. KNO3 Says:

    Horak, most of my friends that have guns have in excess of 1000 rounds at home plus reloading kits (the automated kind). NRA members for life. Some of my Texan friends store over 10000 rounds each. Dunno why.

    Shooting zombies in the head usually works you know.

    Posted December 10th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
  14. Jazhara7 Says:

    I am sad to admit I have yet to get any bladed weapons worth of mention to hang in my bedroom… :( Though I do have a fake hip bone standing on my table to clobber Zombies with in case of emergency.

    Keep my memory alive when the Zombies come, m’kay?

    Posted December 11th, 2008 at 4:01 am
  15. Jazhara7 Says:

    I am sad to admit I have yet to get any bladed weapons worth of mention to hang in my bedroom… :( Though I do have a fake hip bone standing on my table to clobber Zombies with in case of emergency.

    Keep my memory alive when the Zombies come, m’kay?

    Posted December 11th, 2008 at 4:01 am