Murder fairies
Murder fairies
Second part of code:

To be fair, if I were a player and my GM described an ice-cream castle with a rainbow bridge leading to it, I’d know instantly that it was full of murder fairies who would cheerfully dismember our party in their sleep while singing “It’s a Small World After All”.

… But maybe that’s just the games I’ve played in? Or are cute things are usually evil for your games as well?

News: Posted June 19th, 2014 by Alina

^ 26 Comments to “Murder fairies”

  1. William McDuff Says:

    Maybe it’s a double bluff, and that faerie was really just wanting to give you a hug before you and your party murdered them all. You monster. :D

    Posted June 19th, 2014 at 2:46 am
  2. Nuvares Says:

    Why does her eyes and that description make me think it’s going to break out into a William Shattner rendition of “Abbie in the Sky with Diamonds”

    Posted June 19th, 2014 at 4:22 am
  3. Cagliostro Says:

    Traditional implement in our games: Cannibalistic killer Hobbits. Never trusted those little buggers.

    Posted June 19th, 2014 at 5:44 am
  4. dragonsword Says:

    The icecream and gumdrop castle lair sounds like it needs to be in the james bond movie “Candy Man”. 007 vs Willy Wonka…Gods I need to put this in a game.

    Posted June 19th, 2014 at 6:26 am
  5. Maz Says:

    Did you see the LEGO movie? That description fits well with Cloud Cuckoo Land. They aren’t exactly evil.

    Posted June 19th, 2014 at 6:40 am
  6. Disloyal Subject Says:

    Cute implies but does not confirm evil. However, Fae are pretty much guaranteed danger, so we step lightly around them… The exception being the tiny Pixie with her tiny greatsword, because she’s so -CUTE- when she’s disemboweling orcs with a snarl on her face, drawing all attacks & evading every one.
    And there was one player – a DM’s little brother, new to the game – who picked a fight with nonviolent fairies who visited the party camp as a random encounter. With a dagger, as a wizard. After reluctantly beating him up, they requested an apology in floral form… And he deliberately made a crappy bouquet, and verbally insulted them while handing it over. They only spared his life because they were confused by his stupidity.

    Posted June 19th, 2014 at 7:08 am
  7. Death Proof Says:

    …well I know what I’m doing to my party next Monday night.

    “Lord Wonka and his army of flying murder munchkins descend upon the party as they enter the ice cream castle. They wield wands of the Gummi Bear and are covered in hardened marshmallow armor.

    AND MISTER STAYPUFT! I’M TOTALLY PUTTING THEM UP AGAINST MISTER STAYPUFT!

    Thanks, Alina! Muh hah hah hah hah.

    Posted June 19th, 2014 at 7:29 am
  8. Deanatay Says:

    You should check out the board game ‘Smallworld’ – it’s tag line is “It’s a world of (s)laughter, after all!” And, yes, you can murder trolls with fairies in it.

    Posted June 19th, 2014 at 10:23 am
  9. ChattaStarhawk Says:

    Reminds me of a video short I saw a while back, girl follows a fairy into the deep woods and learns too late that these fae are flying piranhas.

    Posted June 19th, 2014 at 10:41 am
  10. Lukkai Says:

    Murder fairies? I could see that. And if you’re looking for further inspiration on those, read up on celtic fairy races. Or Iron Kingdoms Grymkin, which pretty much are based on those I’m sure.

    I also seem to remember the Warhammer halflings of the Mootland often having fun with sending clueless travelers towards Sylvania (land ridden with vampires and other undead) instead of the imperial city of Nuln or other places they wanted to reach.

    Posted June 19th, 2014 at 10:41 am
  11. How evil cute things are has varied greatly in games I’ve played. Largely due to GMs not wanting to be predictable. Sometimes the cute things are just what they look like. Other times….
    It was the never knowing which is would be this time that was really scary.

    Posted June 19th, 2014 at 10:44 am
  12. Aeonsshadow Says:

    Nah it’s not only you. In my last DM’s world Faeries were feared by all civilizations… Of course that may have had something to do with MY faerie character accidentally turning a desert town into an icicle, Covering a purple worm in purple leaves with pink polka dots and turning it to stone, and killing an evil overlord freshly risen from the grave by flying at him at mach 2…….

    Posted June 19th, 2014 at 11:14 am
  13. Mark Antony Says:

    As a GM myself, I’d say that I would never put something THAT saccharine in my game without filling it with something horrible that tries to kill you. Or imprison you forever by force-feeding you candy until you’re so obese you can’t stand on your own power. And the candy is made out of people.

    Also, this whole discussion just makes me think of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AIb_Cq8tYA

    Posted June 19th, 2014 at 11:21 am
  14. Plasma Man Says:

    My DM ran a homebrew near-future thing, and came up with the Happy Nice Computer. Shockingly, it was actually happy and nice – just incredibly annoying and hard to get rid of.

    Posted June 19th, 2014 at 11:42 am
  15. Robert Says:

    As a GM, given that area to work with, I would likely have fairies… but the danger would be an alteration of my classic ‘Polymorph Banana, Summon Monkey’ combo. The fairies, after all, would have to know some magic. Surely enough to manage a Polymorph: Gumdrop Tree.

    Posted June 19th, 2014 at 1:07 pm
  16. gnrrrg Says:

    You just described Disneyworld after dark.

    Posted June 19th, 2014 at 4:18 pm
  17. KenderBryant Says:

    Actually, we’ve never done anything like that in my old gaming group, thankfully I think. All we’d need to add to elevate the horror factor would be sparkly vampires and Spongebob.

    Posted June 19th, 2014 at 10:54 pm
  18. Thess Says:

    Put it this way: I distinctly recall a session I ran once where the party was pitted against man-eating chinchillas. They had taken on Great Old One equivalents with a laugh and a quip, but the chinchillas … they screamed and ran from the chinchillas.

    Posted June 20th, 2014 at 1:46 am
  19. Ever play Escape from Candyland? That would fit right in with the ideas that you others are posting.

    Posted June 20th, 2014 at 2:41 am
  20. Eugene Says:

    Actually my current PC is a fairy.. I have a sparkly fairy vampire, called ‘Painin Maineck’ and he often is to the DM. Quite powerful in 4th ed, a surprise since he was only made as a running twilight reference joke.

    Posted June 20th, 2014 at 4:20 am
  21. xero Says:

    my second GM in college was a fan of silent hill so YES in my exp cute = deadly

    Posted June 20th, 2014 at 7:50 am
  22. Billy Says:

    Why isn’t there a shirt that says Dammit Joel?

    Posted June 20th, 2014 at 9:42 am
  23. Lyon Says:

    Sounds like she’s describing Charlotte’s labyrinth from Madoka…

    Observe.

    http://static.tumblr.com/tiu556g/S8Dlzyvi1/829830.jpg

    Posted June 21st, 2014 at 7:56 pm
  24. ZazuYen Says:

    “Fritz! Fritz, get up for God’s sake! Get up! They’ve killed Fritz! They’ve killed Fritz! Those lousy stinking yellow fairies! Those horrible atrocity-filled vermin! Those despicable animal warmongers! They’ve killed Fritz!” – Max

    Posted June 23rd, 2014 at 7:58 pm
  25. Kitten Says:

    Anything the DM took more than three words to describe was usually suspect, in our games. If one of the three words was ‘cute’, we made an exception for that rule and considered it highly suspect. If one of the remaining words was ‘fluffy’, we knew it was either kill or be killed.

    Posted June 23rd, 2014 at 10:52 pm
  26. N0083rP00F Says:

    Roving bands of Skeletal Squirrels. No real issue if you are high enough level and are in a group. But never get caught alone at low level. [ shudder ]
    DM: What do you mean everyone is dead? They’re just squirrels.
    { Yes this is a reference to the infamous premier adventure for “Return to Ravens Bluff” that was the premature death of that campaign. }

    Posted June 25th, 2014 at 1:56 pm

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