Taking a moment afterwards
Taking a moment afterwards

Well. That was a thing.

News: Posted May 9th, 2018 by Alina

^ 19 Comments to “Taking a moment afterwards”

  1. soneome Says:

    “epidose”?

    how can they protect him without making him feel… Quel est le mot? Disabled? Lacking?

    Posted May 10th, 2018 at 3:06 am
  2. Kaunisenkeli Says:

    Barely, Doug? That assumes you’re trying at all, and I have yet to notice any such movement.

    Posted May 10th, 2018 at 3:14 am
  3. Shinjischneider Says:

    I agree that he needs to be the one to talk about it himself. What the others could do though is, when someone is complaining/making fun of Steven, that they tell them “Have you ever tried actually talking about it with him personally? You might be surprised.”

    They are living with him now, so they have a baseline to defend him, because they know him better than others. And they don’t have to “out” him.

    Except Doug. He can’t even buy his own toilet paper.

    Posted May 10th, 2018 at 6:30 am
  4. Cyrus Says:

    Yeesh guys, it’s not that difficult. Just stand up for him like you would for anyone else: by saying he’s a good guy and it’s not okay to mock people for their differences.

    Posted May 10th, 2018 at 8:13 am
  5. Joe Says:

    If I hear somebody badtalking a friend of mine, I make a point in the conversation that (s)he’s my friend. When the judgement is appropiate, I agree with them in polite words (yeah, (s)he can be pretty unreliable) but also say nice things about the person in question.

    You don’t have to give explanations about your friends, but you CAN say that the person has certain issues and explain how you deal with your friends issues, and explain why (s)he’s a good friend.

    Gossiping and talking about people – good or bad – is natural, and obviously “Talking Guy” was harder to endure than we as readers perceived. It wouldn’t be that bad to explain that he’s autistic, that would actually help people understan with whom they’re dealing with; ethically it might not be 100% right but in practice a) that’s what would happen b) it would be the right call, as long as you keep it discrete and among your circle.

    Posted May 10th, 2018 at 10:13 am
  6. jdorr Says:

    they could just remind people when they make fun of him(or anyone really) that bullying is wrong. probably with better phrasing then that but still

    Posted May 10th, 2018 at 1:41 pm
  7. TB Says:

    Hey, if “epidose” isn’t a word for consuming mass quantities of a television series at a sitting, it should be. Let’s knock “binge-watch” off the throne!

    Posted May 10th, 2018 at 1:53 pm
  8. DaveBro Says:

    Oh, c’mon Doug. It’s *much* easier fixing someone else’ life!! 8D

    Posted May 10th, 2018 at 3:14 pm
  9. mostly harmless Says:

    heres a wave: hows about you just go around and tell people “hey I just realized I’ve been a jerk, im sorry.”
    No reason of why or anything special, its just come to your attention that the way you were treating someone wasn’t kind or good and you want to change and make sure that you haven’t been doing the same to others

    Posted May 10th, 2018 at 8:44 pm
  10. Scia Says:

    They could encourage Steven to mention it to others – he’s already mentioned that he forgets that people don’t know. Well, I guess it would be more like ‘remind’ than ‘encourage.’ Still.

    Or they could ask his permission to tell others about it, since he tends not to know.

    Posted May 11th, 2018 at 5:51 am
  11. SwivelDiscourse Says:

    As someone diagnosed with Aspergers, I find these character’s actions to be wholly offensive. Talking Guy is extremely high-functioning, especially if you mention a girlfriend. He’s more than likely aware on some level that he’s annoying, and takes the heckling he gets from others as simple repartee for being annoying. It’s not that he’s unaware of his actions, he just doesn’t care enough to change who he really is, and given that he has a consistent social circle and a relationship, this seems to work for him quite well, and more often than not comes off as a personality quirk than a mental disorder.
    What these characters are doing by attempting to “Apologize” and treat him nicely, is switching around to treating him like he’s one of “those” kids who’re in Special Ed, or lower-functioning. They’re essentially denying him the right to be treated on equal ground as a human being. It’s sickening.

    Posted May 11th, 2018 at 11:20 am
  12. SwivelDiscourse:

    I dealt with an HFA who repeatedly did not think of some things. I had to work hard with him for him get some of that awareness. I do not think that it was him not caring.

    Different people will get treated differently. I do not think it sickening. I think it considerate (but one does have to be careful to not be overbearing about it).

    Posted May 11th, 2018 at 7:56 pm
  13. werefrog Says:

    SwivelDiscourse: The Werefrog am also on the spectrum, and this isn’t as bad as the super-powered disability, such as Rainman. Can do highly advance math in seconds, but can’t do basic life skills due to disability, or the blind guy who can hear everything super well to make up for it (think Daredevil).

    It’s even worse that these people think they are good people for treating him differently now that they know. They should take this as a lesson that one never knows what the other person has going on, so all should be treated with kindness and respect. Instead, they seem to think that it is worse to make fun of Steven because he’s disabled.

    Posted May 12th, 2018 at 11:16 am
  14. mostly harmless Says:

    another folly, is they are assuming that everyone else is being mean spirited and making fun of Talking Guy.

    Stevens nickname is well earned, he talks a lot, its a character trait. How individuals speak of him is a reflection on their own character. i.e.: “oh yeah Talking Guy.” vs. “oh god, ‘Talking’ Guy.”

    Posted May 12th, 2018 at 6:36 pm
  15. Ben Says:

    Honestly, I feel that this convo NEEDS Steve involved. The Guys are working on stepping in it, again.

    Posted May 12th, 2018 at 8:34 pm
  16. Druindo Says:

    Just going to chime in here real quick; I may make a lengthier post later.
    1. I am also diagnosed with Asperger’s.
    2. I think this is an interesting arc that is relevant to gamer culture. I’ve only met one Aspie outside of some sort of gaming group.
    3. I don’t find the way Steven is portrayed to be an issue. Hell, I even started having suspicions part way through the arc. There’s no mold for Asperger’s.
    4. Honestly, the reactions of the other guys seems reasonable. Maybe it’s not the best way of handling it, but everyone reacts differently. I think that now isn’t the best time to judge their reactions, since we’re in the middle of the story; hell, there’s no guarantee that real people will ever figure out the right thing to do in this situation, even after years of understanding.
    My general preference is that people try to give me some empathy and understand that my social faux pas are made in ignorance, not malice, and that simply pointing it out to me in a manner that doesn’t make it more awkward for me can go a long way. And honestly, sometimes an apology means jack, because if you keep doing something, you probably aren’t sorry. The better apology is to stop the behavior in regards to everyone, not just to the person you want to apologize to.
    5. Yes, this is “quick;” normally my response on a topic of interest is much longer and involves at least one anxiety attack before and after posting. Did I forget to mention the generalized anxiety, clinical depression, ADHD, and the dysgraphia?

    Posted May 13th, 2018 at 8:59 pm
  17. TCS Says:

    Been giving this a lot of thought, as I’ve many friends and family members on various parts of the spectrum.

    First off, I love that there is an active and civil conversation going in the comments. I hope that folks who might have reacted similarly to the characters in this scene are reading and learning from the discussion.

    I agree that their reaction is overbearing and potentially harmful, but it’s also a very reasonable response from people who haven’t met many people with ASD. This is perhaps doubled by the fact that “autistic” has joined the ranks of ableist slurs in some circles, of which, as people who no doubt spend a lot of time in online gaming communities, these characters are certainly aware. This may be one of the reasons they’re jumping from casual teasing–which is a NORMAL part of many healthy relationships–to full protective mode.

    I am really hoping that this arc will be resolved with the guys realizing what I think is an appropriate course of action, which imo should be a default response regardless of personality, mental/physical ability, or whatever: TALK to the person. Yes, there are people who are unreasonable or just won’t work shit out, but it’s worth making the first effort to say, “Hey, would you mind being quiet for a few minutes?” or “Please give me some personal space” or whatever. The situation I imagine is they go to a game, someone vents about how annoying Steve is being, and they say, “Have you tried asking him to stop?” No giving away personal information, no coming off as weirdly protective, and no taking away his personal authority. Just a suggestion.

    Definitely agree with werefrog; I think there should (and I suspect there will) be a moment in the story where they realize that it’s not about how they treated him, but how they treat people in general.

    And remember folks: It’s a story, and it ain’t over. Characters can screw up, and lessons are likely to be learned. I, for one, am looking forward to seeing what comes next.

    Posted May 13th, 2018 at 10:18 pm
  18. Durindo: “And honestly, sometimes an apology means jack, because if you keep doing something, you probably aren’t sorry.”

    Or you may have trouble in an area. I got a lot of apologies from that Aspie student I mentioned. In the heat of the moment, he did not think of the situation. It took quite a bit for him to get some awareness THAT HE COULD USE WHEN THE SITUATION OCCURRED. Looking back on how one screwed up is a different situation.

    Posted May 14th, 2018 at 11:31 am
  19. Eliz Says:

    This is such an amazing slice of life piece for this subject. You’ve got great representation of so many different points of view and personalities. As a fellow writer, I’m in awe.

    Posted May 19th, 2018 at 8:30 am