*concern*
*concern*

Judging by Mark’s expression, he has a few concerns… Also, that forced smile is creepy, dude.

News: Posted February 4th, 2019 by Alina

^ 32 Comments to “*concern*”

  1. Volkspanzer Says:

    Mark: Ah, you must understand that I have a proverbial hand tied behind my back in our introductions, Damien. Fear not, as I will bring equity to this situation — quite literally!

    Posted February 4th, 2019 at 2:56 am
  2. Oof. Her -primary-. Which he didn’t know.

    I’m sure everything will be fine from now on.

    Posted February 4th, 2019 at 3:22 am
  3. Shinji Schneider Says:

    I think in the past i missed, that Ravenia is the kind of Polyamory that divides into primaries, secondaries and maybe tertiaries?

    Mark. Get out of that relationship.

    You are a nice guy, but you are NOT the kind of guy who is able to be secondary partner in a relationship.

    This isn’t to bash Ravenia or something. I got nothing against Poly-people (being partially Poly myself). But for Mark this does NOT work out.

    Posted February 4th, 2019 at 4:48 am
  4. Stumpy the Paladin Says:

    I see what you did there, Dustin.

    Good Job.

    Posted February 4th, 2019 at 7:05 am
  5. Larkness Says:

    Leaving aside the relationship drama for a moment, I’m confused about Dustin’s costume – didn’t he and Abbie go through making a big, really cool ogre suit just for this larp?

    Posted February 4th, 2019 at 8:32 am
  6. Fabfunk von Cronenberg Says:

    He’s trying. That’s all you can ask.

    Posted February 4th, 2019 at 9:46 am
  7. Killiak Says:

    Mark needs to have that coffee-talk with Abbie.
    And then, probably, break off the poly. He is not cut out for it, and the sooner he admits that (mostly to himself), the better.

    Posted February 4th, 2019 at 10:52 am
  8. TheDarkTyger Says:

    He’s trying. At least he’s aware the jealousy isn’t healthy. This isn’t going to work out for him, though, I’m sure. He just needs to recognize that. If not tonight, hopefully his chat later with Abby will help him see it.

    Again to remind people, Mark is the formerly straight laced guy who’s kinda plunged head first into this world. He’s not going to have his ducks in a row right away. This is a growth opportunity.

    Posted February 4th, 2019 at 10:56 am
  9. bbullock Says:

    You know, polyamory has always been one of those things I never really “got,” but I think it just clicked for me.
    So, thank you.

    Posted February 4th, 2019 at 11:01 am
  10. Rose Says:

    *sigh* Look, I get it. Being in a poly relationship is hard. God knows I was never able to cut it. But that’s why open communication is so important, Mark! Jeeze! Speak to her. Or to Dustin. Or to SOMEONE! Because I can so see this festering into something awful.

    And great writing, BTW. It’s like looking back at myself when I was was in a poly relationship and far too insecure to be a part of it.

    Posted February 4th, 2019 at 12:32 pm
  11. TB Says:

    I mean, yay for modern relationships and all, but if there’s anybody out there who would be comfortable as the “secondary” in a relationship, I have yet to meet them.

    Posted February 4th, 2019 at 2:07 pm
  12. LogicMouse Says:

    I’m right there with Larkness. Where’s the super-cool troll suit? Did Dustin just find it too hot to wear?

    Posted February 4th, 2019 at 3:25 pm
  13. Ferret Says:

    Interesting that Mark seems to have no problem with Dustin in this arrangement, but does with Damien.

    Posted February 4th, 2019 at 3:56 pm
  14. SolitareLee Says:

    Honestly, everyone saying Mark doesn’t have a chance and should get out now aren’t giving him enough credit IMO. It’s not like jealousy DOESN’T HAPPEN in poly relationships! I actively *prefer* being a secondary (@TB we exist don’t be a jerk)–less stress, less pressure–and even I sometimes get jealous and a bit sad when I meet a primary, if I really like that person I’m seeing. Which Mark seems to! This is his first time in such a relationship, cut him some slack. Jealousy isn’t poison in poly, lack of communication is. He should talk this through with Abbie, and then once he has his head on straight, with Ravenia.

    Posted February 4th, 2019 at 4:58 pm
  15. HerrMetik Says:

    Well, there is something that has been bothering me for quite some time. I’ve read a lot of comments here about how Mark has to communicate more. That’s true. But what about Ravenia? So far, we have seen her kiss with Mark without being clear BEFOREHAND that she is in a polyamorous relationship; now we see her bring her ‘primary’ around without, apparently, having mentioned him to Mark – and based on Mark’s reaction, it’s quite possible that she has not even explained the whole concept of having a ‘primary’ to him.
    Am I the only one who is concerned that it is Ravenia who ist not communicating well in this whole constellation? In the beginning, she could hardly have expected that Mark knows the ins and outs of her relationship arrengement, and ove time, it became VERY clear that Mark does not know what he got himself into.
    Ravenia appears rather callous to me in this storyline as far as Mark’s feelings are concerned. I mean, sure, Mark should speak out and all that, but as a partner in a social relationship, shouldn’t Ravenia ask once in a while about how Mark feels about the whole situation, and if he is okay with it?

    Posted February 4th, 2019 at 5:48 pm
  16. zmortis Says:

    Get in weird relationship situations, win weird vibes.

    Posted February 4th, 2019 at 5:55 pm
  17. HousePet Says:

    Eh Ravenia is pretty sly. I would expect her to have told Damien a bit about Mark, and how awkward he is about things.

    Posted February 4th, 2019 at 6:12 pm
  18. Shadow88 Says:

    Dustin stamping on Mark’s foot reminds me of a bit from an episode of Hustle when a new character was feeling nervous before approaching the Mark.

    Sean: “What’d [Albert] do [to take your mind off it]?”
    Ash: *stamps on Sean’s foot* “Trod on me foot, I was fine after that.” *wanders off as the Mark also starts leaving, forcing Sean to start running to catch up to the latter*

    Posted February 4th, 2019 at 6:51 pm
  19. Greaterbookwyrm Says:

    To all the peeps wondering where Dustin’s fancy getup is: Thats the shirt/under dress. I believe he has a headpiece he wears over it, and since game hasn’t officially started yet, I can’t honestly blame him in wanting to wait until the last darn second before donning that armor, for fear of losing half a person in water weight.

    Also, communication is not Mark’s strong suit. We’ve seen this time and time again with his previous story lines. Hopefully someone sits him down and helps him grow a little more and we can finally watch that MarkxSarah ship set sail.

    Posted February 5th, 2019 at 5:36 am
  20. It's Not Just About Ravenia Says:

    okay, but can we talk about Damien hitting on Mark because HEY NICE COSTUME, NICE SHOULDERS, YOU MUST WORK OUT qualifies as a potentially very entertaining way to resolve these poly dynamics. If it isn’t played for gay panic humor, anyway.

    Posted February 5th, 2019 at 9:35 am
  21. Oneironaut Says:

    @Larkness
    Pretty sure they haven’t started yet, so still getting ready.
    Since Dustin’s suit was overheating him last time, he probably waits till the last minute before putting the rest on.

    As to the story, it’s definitely becoming clear that Mark is more of a monogamous kind of guy.
    Relationships with multiple people are actually quite good if you trust and get along well with everyone involved, like a relationship and a circle of close friends all in one go 🙂
    But yeah, most definitely not for the potentially-jealous type…

    Posted February 5th, 2019 at 10:58 am
  22. Novalyyn Says:

    You know, I may be reading this wrong, but I get the feeling it’s not even jealousy that Mark is dealing with. It’s just plane being too busy comparing himself to Damien, picking out Damien’s pluses to his own flaws, and feeling too much like he’s under everyone. He’s ALSO got Sarah and Hadeed on his mind.

    So I don’t think he’s feeling jealous so much as undermined from all around.

    @HerrMetik – When she kissed him, she followed up explaining that she thought everyone (including him) already knew she was poly. It’s also explicitly stated that Ravenia DID mention Damien: when she texted Mark to remind him, Mark said he forgot in a manner legitimately indicated she really had said something already and was taking the extra step to give him a reminder heads-up.

    Posted February 5th, 2019 at 1:13 pm
  23. Antani Says:

    @zmortis nothing “weird” in poly relationships, don’t be a dick.

    Posted February 5th, 2019 at 2:53 pm
  24. Stephen Nagy Says:

    The human in him wants to be a good person and accept her lifestyle and romantic choices.

    The dog in him wants to bite. o_o

    Posted February 5th, 2019 at 11:36 pm
  25. Azraphon Says:

    Pretty gross of Mark to be secure about Dustin, since it’s obviously on the basis that he thinks he’s more attractive and hence worthier of love than Dustin.

    Although that makes me feel like Dustin should get back out there. He deserves to be someone’s everything, not a secondary.

    Posted February 6th, 2019 at 2:22 am
  26. Oddtail Says:

    OK, so I’ve just learnt about the concept of a “primary”. And I dunno how I feel about this, especially in this context. I mean, in hindsight it stands to reason that there’d be some prioritizing in relationships, at least for some people. On the other hand… isn’t that the kind of thing that Mark should know about? I’m assuming Ravenia didn’t mention it to him. So far, I thought Mark never really handled the relationship well, but if he reacted negatively to playing second fiddle to someone else, I honestly wouldn’t blame him.

    Before my meaning is possibly misread, let me clarify – I’m not knocking the primary/secondary distinction as a concept. I’m not even saying Mark being a secondary is wrong. But that sounds like the kind of thing he should know? Especially since Ravenia knows he comes from a background of only having exclusive relationships. That honestly sounds like a sort of thing you talk to the other person about, in a “are you OK with this?” sort of way.

    @HerrMetik: I don’t disagree. I don’t think, however, that people pointing out that Mark is not doing that great communication-wise automatically implies that Ravenia is doing everything correctly. Mark is still handling things poorly, I’d say.

    Posted February 6th, 2019 at 3:44 am
  27. Thulcandran Says:

    @Novalyyn, that’s often what jealousy really is. From my experience as someone who’s been in a triad and a vee, with both of my current partners being open to other relationships, jealousy seems to come in two flavors. External-easily becomes toxic: if my partner spends more time or emotional capital on another person, that’s less they have for me. And Internal-also easy to become toxic, but a LOT more common: my partner is dating other people or spending more time with them because I am somehow inadequate to their desire. Subtext, and they’ll eventually leave me altogether for someone more perfect.

    One of my partner refers to jealousy (and anger, frustration, etc) as dashboard lights. Sometimes it means there’s an insecurity, sometimes a breakdown in communication, often a little of both.

    In this case, I wouldn’t be surprised if Damien very much wants to pull Mark into his end of the polycule, but I suspect that would freak Mark the hell out.

    Posted February 6th, 2019 at 4:56 am
  28. Fabfunk von Cronenberg Says:

    Obvious solution is obvious:

    Mark is trying, but this is a bit much for someone as pedestrian as him. He’s not ready and may never will be.

    After a probable emotional meltdown during the Larp, he excuses himself and leaves. Or goes out to his car. Abby follows, knowing he’s had these mixed feelings. Mark unloads his feelings to her.

    They hug. They kiss. Fade to black.

    Posted February 6th, 2019 at 10:02 am
  29. Tim C Says:

    Maybe I don’t know enough about polyamory, but it strikes me as bad idea to have your first meet up between all your lovers in such a social environment.

    Mark (and Dustin) are in an environment where they are subconsciously thinking about the judgement of their friends and peers. This scenario is one step away from having a job interview in the middle of your fraternity or family reunion when you think about it and three steps away from a typical speaking engagement. That strikes me a recipe for a lot of miscommunication as all parties subconsciously subdue their signals so that they don’t illicit the attention and judgment of the crowd around them.

    Posted February 6th, 2019 at 3:20 pm
  30. Valtharr Says:

    @Tim C I’m not disagreeing necessarily, but different people are comfortable or uncomfortable in different situations. Seeing how Ravenia knows Mark as someone who enjoys LARPs and attending the Goth club, she might have pinned him as a more extroverted person, who would actually be *more* comfortable in a social situation surrounded by friends, than in a more intimate setting with only the three or four of them.

    Posted February 7th, 2019 at 12:40 pm
  31. Joker Says:

    @Azrahpon I don’t think that it’s a matter of Mark thinking he’s more worthy than Justin of love or intimacy. I think it’s more that he knows Justin and is a friend to him. To put it a bit differently, Mark might be fine if this guy was more a known quantity. But he’s meeting him in a location where he seems a bit anxious and was uncomfortable being seen in the costume. Also remember that Mark has had his hobbies demeaned by his now ex girlfriend.

    Posted February 7th, 2019 at 10:58 pm
  32. TheDarkTyger Says:

    Wait wait wait. “Just like that Twilight guy Ravenia loves so much”?! Rav is a Twilight fan??? Yeah, walk away, Mark.

    XD ( Just kidding )

    Posted February 8th, 2019 at 12:36 am