Talking trash about himself
Talking trash about himself
News: Posted October 17th, 2019 by Alina

^ 31 Comments to “Talking trash about himself”

  1. mcbainicus Says:

    Oh man! Here’s hoping Mark can FINALLY get it all out and move on with himself.

    Posted October 18th, 2019 at 12:36 am
  2. Jonathan Says:

    Now I’m curious if Mark will be revealed to have been lying to the reader, as well. Maybe he’s a murderer!

    Posted October 18th, 2019 at 12:53 am
  3. Jade Gryphion Says:

    Attention peaked… And I’m masochisticly re-reading this again and again, feeling my anxiety spike further and further up each time because this feels way to much like the stuff I say to myself way to regularly.

    I don’t know what Mark is talking about, but I have my guesses… And yeah… This is how you dig for out of your soul, but it hurts like hell itself when you realize you’ve been ignoring who you are and where you’re at focusing on what you’d rather have and be. That’s probably the most poetic way I can think to put this, ’cause coming right out and saying you’d rather lie and hide than risk loosing the most valuable things in your life absolutely sucks.

    Posted October 18th, 2019 at 12:56 am
  4. maarvarq Says:

    “I think I can live with being trash, though” is not good. Does Mark really not want to try to become a better person?

    Posted October 18th, 2019 at 1:37 am
  5. Sparhawk Says:

    OMG I can’t wait for the big reveal. Really curious to know what it is, though…..

    Posted October 18th, 2019 at 3:10 am
  6. Lovegirl Says:

    Like m true feeligns about being atracted to you, Dustin? * _ *

    Posted October 18th, 2019 at 4:13 am
  7. Velgar Says:

    Enjoyed that cool, casual climb? Here comes another drop!

    Yeah. Kinda shows that Mark is a good puppy. Having heard things that sound reasonable in defence of ghe person you feel did something wrong? Okay, guess they didn’t do wrong then. But somebody did! We’re in a mess! Who’se left to blame? … Oh…

    And the worst part is that he done did goofed. Can’t explain around that. Just have to get to the harder part of explaining why it was okay-ish that he goofed and now they can actually get forward as well.

    Posted October 18th, 2019 at 4:56 am
  8. Shinjischneider Says:

    Hello and welcome to depression-land.

    For everyone who now expects some big reveal about all the bad things Mark did. All the corpses in his basement. Prepare for disappointment.

    At most we will see Mark talking to coworkers and acting as if he wasn’t part of these “nerds”. Evading discussions about cosplayers. Maybe even halfheartedly joining some sexist banter about female cosplayers because he didn’t want to risk trouble at work.

    This wouldn’t good. AT ALL. But it’s how you behave in a toxic male environment if you want to somehow get through without getting into trouble.

    He mostly lied to himself about things. His feelings to Sarah. His feelings to Ravenia. His ability to deal with polyamory. etc. etc. etc.

    Usually during this phase hindsight 20/20 sets in and completely distorts your memories and fucks with yourself.

    “Yeah that thing i did out of circumstances and because i didn’t even realize what was going on? I totally believe now that i did this 100% on purpose because surely i should have known back then.”

    Posted October 18th, 2019 at 5:58 am
  9. Rock Says:

    Oh? Now I’m curious. Is this a matter of events untold, or simply a perspective clouded by self-loathing?

    Posted October 18th, 2019 at 6:28 am
  10. DocMcConvoy Says:

    Maybe I get it wrong, but I would guess he is refering way back to the start of the comic when weregeek was a term for “normal at day, gaming at night”. He lied to his coworkers to be socially accepted, he lied to Jess to not be ridiculed by her or loose her and maybe, he lied to even more people. Maybe he also lied to his friends about things outside of gaming so he would not loose them. But I also could guess, he lied to himself.

    Maybe he will also get the feeling I had when I came out of my (geek-)closet, that there are people out there openminded enough to accept you as you are. I am very curious for the next strips.

    Posted October 18th, 2019 at 7:05 am
  11. Fabfunk von Cronenberg Says:

    Yeah, I can sympathize. I’m garbage, too. You try to be a good person but the toxic personality seeps through like a wound through bandages.

    Posted October 18th, 2019 at 8:57 am
  12. Diego Says:

    Patreon subscription justified.

    Let the Dark Chapter begin!

    Posted October 18th, 2019 at 9:08 am
  13. Tim Williamson Says:

    Has Mark secretly been an undercover Hunter this whole time?

    Posted October 18th, 2019 at 9:45 am
  14. Joe Says:

    we have a horrible feeling about this.

    Posted October 18th, 2019 at 12:11 pm
  15. Annonamousethatscurriesinthedarkness Says:

    Wildly inaccurate speculation time.
    Hmmmm.
    Parents being separated could imply that childhood wasn’t all that great to begin with.
    Being a closet Geek.
    Trying so hard to have a steady girlfriend no matter how difficult it made it for them.
    Super Fit, yet not even all that well acquainted with sports as far as I can remember. [someone correct me here]
    Is very good at playing roles as if it was second nature to them.

    This could mean that they have been pretending all along.
    Oh crap, could this mean ……… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    Posted October 18th, 2019 at 1:39 pm
  16. Eva Says:

    Hmmm… While this seems like a prime moment for “don’t talk about my friend that way” I think Mark might really need to get this stuff out. Maybe we’ll find out what the real poison was in there the whole time. :/

    Posted October 18th, 2019 at 3:53 pm
  17. Rewatcher Says:

    I wonder if he’s secretly gay? Maybe he just wanted to be with Ravenia deep inside to be closer to Dustin? What else could he mean by lying? 🤔

    Posted October 18th, 2019 at 6:16 pm
  18. Fabfunk von Cronenberg Says:

    The suspense is terrible! I hope it will last…

    Posted October 18th, 2019 at 7:08 pm
  19. HousePet Says:

    I’m guessing he feels like he’s been lying to everyone because he tried really hard to fit in with the Geeks, and he isn’t sure if he had just switched one life he didn’t fit into for another.
    He’s gone along with everything they’ve done, and he has enjoyed it. But is he really being himself?

    Sort of stereotyping Darren here (Sorry Darren). But I’m wondering if it would do some good if someone like Darren would take Mark to a Boxing Gym, so he can work out his frustrations on something that isn’t a brick wall.

    Posted October 18th, 2019 at 8:17 pm
  20. Gene Wirchenko Says:

    And maybe, he is overreacting horribly.

    Posted October 19th, 2019 at 6:33 am
  21. Richard Weatherfield Says:

    @Fabfunk:

    I understood that reference!

    Posted October 19th, 2019 at 10:31 am
  22. Peya Luna Says:

    as much as i LOVE the wild fan theories, odds are he is merely talking about how long he kept his geekiness hidden from jess, and is still hiding it from his co-workers. heck, he´s basically living two seperate lives, no wonder he snapped 😉

    Posted October 19th, 2019 at 11:05 pm
  23. chicgeek Says:

    I’m guessing his parents had a bad divorce. Child him tried to be whatever they wanted, to keep the peace. Him hiding/supressing what he really is/likes became ingrained. He does that as second nature now, to fit in with whatever group he’s with. And I’m betting a parent called him a sissy for some of his interests. Why he works out, even if he’s not into sports. Plus, working out is a solo thing, not a team thing. So, so, glad he’s in therapy. Yeah, he reached his limit and exploded in the worst way, but hopefully healing can start now.

    Posted October 20th, 2019 at 11:49 am
  24. jc_lit Says:

    Hoo boy, as somebody who has dealt with an anxiety disorder since childhood, that ”calling yourself trash” thing really hit home. Hope Mark gets to a place where, even if he can’t totally get closure regarding those feelings, he can at least manage them.

    Posted October 20th, 2019 at 12:47 pm
  25. SeriousBiz Says:

    Seems like I called it. Mark’s feeling like trash because the stress of leading a double life and the guilt of treating his amazing, supportive friends like something to be embarrassed about are getting to him. He is starting to realize that while he can keep up appearances in front of the mundanes, it isn’t really an option for the others.

    “The geeks” in the comic have always been a stand-in for anyone society deems “weird”, someone who doesn’t fit the norms for whatever reason, and who faces ridicule and perhaps even hostility because of these traits. Mark is someone for whom geeky things are just a hobby, but who otherwise fits into society’s ideals pretty neatly (I think that’s why we’ve seen Mark bulk up a bit lately: him looking as non-traditionally geeky as possible is integral to this storyline). The others would be weirdoes in society’s eyes, never mind how they tried to hide their passion: Dustin is overweight and obsessed with “childish” things, Sarah is a fangirl through and through, Joel is a grumpy recluse with OCD, and Abby is Abby. None of them could “pass” as normies. Mark can. For him, the “geek” thing has been an immensely fun side activity: for the others, it is their life. Therefore, in order to keep his geekiness a secret, he’s had to keep his friends – his true friends – a secret as well. That kind of guilt is not easy to live with.

    Remember that when Jess was over, he felt more comfortable persuading the others to “tone down” their personalities and interests than even considering it might be her responsibility to be non-judgemental towards people whose interests stray from the norm? He did this to protect himself from having to make the choice he had been dreading, and which he eventually had to make anyway. So he didn’t stick up for his friends and instead confronted Jess’s judgemental attitude only when he was the one on the receiving end. Yeah, I bet that’s just one of the things he’s feeling terrible about right now.

    What made him explode at the LARP was the fact that an outsider (Damien) was watching him when he was playing pretend, essentially ripping off the metaphorical mask that he had used to separate his “normal” life from his “geek” life. Until this day, he had enjoyed a kind of spectator status himself: he wasn’t a geek, just a normie who happened to like geeky things. Now, he really was “one of them” in the eyes of someone he felt threatened by, and he didn’t know how to handle that. The fact that Damien seemed more intrigued by the whole thing than disapproving didn’t matter: Mark was too far in paranoia land to see things objectively. (I understand, though, LARP is a little weird to be a spectator sport. Maybe everybody else felt comfortable enough to let outsiders watch but Mark didn’t get the memo, or he thought he’d be able to handle it and then realized too late that he couldn’t, or the storyteller made an oopsie, or whatever.)

    The good news is: Mark is feeling like a garbage person, clearly doesn’t want to feel that way anymore, and subsequently starts making changes in his life and being honest to himself going forward, no longer being a garbage person. A truly garbage person would keep going as usual, telling himself that no, he didn’t do anything wrong, it’s everyone else’s fault, he was innocent and totally justified in his jealous and violent tantrum. Mark isn’t doing that, so I can see only good things coming from this.

    I really like this storyline, as it goes into the heart of what this comic has always been about: breaking norms. It was a pretty bold move to make it our POV character Mark the one who goes through this, but it was also necessary. That it was polyamory that set this off was also important in its own way. It does appear that some forms of normativity – in this case amatonormativity – are common even in otherwise fairly accepting geek circles.

    Posted October 20th, 2019 at 1:29 pm
  26. Ari Says:

    I fear it may not be as simple as people want to make it. It rarely is.

    Posted October 20th, 2019 at 2:20 pm
  27. Invader Tenn Says:

    I miss the hunter storyline. This story is great and really emotional, but I still wish the actual supernatural element of the story would make a come back.

    Posted October 20th, 2019 at 6:58 pm
  28. AlannM Says:

    As much as I know that the verbal throw-up is needed. I am glad that his friends are keeping an eye on him right now. I do wonder if Dustin needs to call in some back up.

    Posted October 20th, 2019 at 7:27 pm
  29. HousePet Says:

    I’ll speculate on the simple stuff.
    Any speculation on complex stuff is just a wild guess. 😉

    Posted October 20th, 2019 at 8:21 pm
  30. Kobold Says:

    Huh? Is he being over dramatic or did I miss out a storyline somewhere?

    Posted October 21st, 2019 at 3:56 am
  31. TB Says:

    My brain added a last panel showing Dustin holding a flashlight for the dramatic effect.

    Posted October 23rd, 2019 at 2:07 pm